Looking for advice on how to stop feeling the need to constantly be checking your phone?? Learn what to do when he’s not texting you back!!
You pick up the phone. You click on it. Nope, no new message or phone call. You put it down.
And pick it up again. You click on it again. Nope, no new message or phone call.
Man!! Why the heck isn’t he texting or calling me back?!
I’ve been there!! You’ve been there!!
So let’s start with a story.
One of my boyfriends I super duper liked and was crushing on hard.
2 month into the relationship to 10 to 15 months were all the same.
I super duper liked him and couldn’t wait to hear from him.
It sounds desperate I know…
but I was constantly checking my phone to see if he had called…
if he was texting me or even if he just was checking our special app to know that he was thinking about me….
As much as I was thinking about him.
It was painful for sure!! And I learned some super valuable lessons from my time waiting.
So here are 6 things of what to do when he’s not texting you back!!
Number One: Don’t distract yourself
This tip may seem super counterproductive and counterintuitive. Because it seems pretty smart to just go and be distracted!! Like honestly, he’s busy so you can be busy too!!
It just doesn’t work because you will be left feeling super unfulfilled.
And, you’ll still be wishing he would just call or text so you could be done with being distracted.
There were so many times where I was truly distracted but still relied on the energy of the relationship to bring me purpose and fulfilment.
When that relationship ended, I was heartbroken and lost.
And I felt like I lost a huge part of who I was.
Because being distracted will leave you feeling totally unfulfilled here is what to do instead:
Number two: Create Your Best Life
I didn’t understand at the time of that relationship but the greatest gift that I could give myself and that special guy was my best.
And from a lot of reflection and time on my own, I have come to recognize that that means finding and creating a meaningful life that brings me a purpose and meaning for living!!
In reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project she talks about finding happiness and joy in the little things.
Her advice, if you don’t know what brings you happiness go back to the things that you used to do as a teenager.
What were the talents, hobbies, goals or dreams you had then??
As I have gone back and started to retry to develop these areas of growth I have definitely felt a lot happier.
A dating coach whom I absolutely respect and adore is Matthew Hussey. He is a big advocate for creating and developing your best life.
He shares that, you’re the most attractive when have a full and complete life.
So how exactly do you create your own full and complete life??
Well it means according to my pal Matthew Hussey, creating a focus and burning desire to become better.
It means finding a sense of fulfillment in what creates joy and happiness in your life.
So here are some questions to ask yourself:
- what books would I like to read??
- Is there a skill I have always wanted to develop but haven’t tried yet??
- what would I like to learn more about??
- Am I happy in my career?? If not what can I do to push myself to find that happiness and joy??
- Is going back to school a feasible option or idea?? If I did go back to school what would I like to learn about??
- What am I passionate about?? Is there a movement that I would like to learn more about??
- What talents did you have before that you want to do again??
- Who inspires me?? Are there talents or skills that I could develop in my own life that this person has??
- Do I believe that I am the best version of myself??
As you seek to better yourself you will find that your happiness will emanate to those around you. Which I would consider a win-win wouldn’t you??
Number Three: Break Up With Your Phone
As a society, we are addicted to our phones!! How many people do you see with their phones in their hands as they are walking down the street, driving, waiting in the grocery line, or just in the local coffee shop??
An article in the LA Times suggested that a new research study that was published in 2018 linked an increase of screen use to a huge decrease in happiness found in 1.1 million American teenagers!! Yikes!!
Even though you and I are not teens any longer I believe that the stats are probably the same.
I know the times that I step away from my phone and spend time developing my talents and hobbies or spend that time with friends the happier I am.
So find some time daily to break up with your phone. Walk away from it. put it away. The world won’t end and you’ll be a lot happier!!
Number Four: Start a New Hobby
You just spent a whole bunch of time pondering over questions of what would help you to create your best life.
What stood out to you??
Now is the time to deep dive into creating that in your life!!
For a long time I wanted to attend a paint night. I kept coming up with excuses of why I didnt do it.
Not enough money.
Not enough time.
The list went on and on.
And then I decided to host a virtual long-distance paint nite!! And I was hooked. I ended up loving to paint.
It has brought me a lot of peace and time to create. and reflect. and develop a talent that brought me a lot of happiness in my younger years.
So its time to buck up and find your talents!! What does the universe have in store for you??
Number Five: Remember He Is Talking To Other People
In this weird world of online dating, it is not uncommon for a dating potential to be talking to 5 other girls at the same time. Ouch. But wait!!
Don’t be alarmed because no one can sustain talking to that many dating potentials so keep being your best self and show him what you have to offer.
This also means that it is okay for you to be talking to other people in the early stages of getting to know someone!!
However, if you and he have had the what are we talk then you need to eliminate all other dating potentials!!
But realize that the rule still applies.
It is not healthy in a relationship to cut all your friends family off because you are in a relationship.
Recognize that he is still talking to his bros and his fam!!
And so you need to do the same. Make a conscious effort to do girl night or phone your best friends and still have time for girl talk!!
He can’t be your island, and you can’t be his. It is important to maintain other friendships and connections with those who already love you and want the best for you in your life!!
Number Six: It’s really no big deal
I know it can feel a bit intimidating or even overwhelming knowing that he might be being distracted elsewhere in the beginning.
But just know that being true to yourself and being the best version of you is the most attractive of all.
So if your mind starts to wander and believe me it will. You need to stop and push those thoughts and feelings aside.
Have an attitude of it’s no big deal and don’t focus on the negative.
By being positive you will attract the positive.
So many guys have shared with me that what they find most attractive in a girl that the truly want to keep around is a girl with a genuine personality, a happiness about them and. a killer smile.
Happy people are more attractive. Scientific fact.
I know you’re waiting for that text so don’t be distracted. Go create your best life. Pour into your other relationships, develop a hobby or talent, and…
Just remember, it’s no big deal, so continue to create your best life and you’ll be happier for it!!