Are you wondering how to strengthen your relationship with your child?? Don’t know where to begin?? Well we’ve got you covered!! Here are our Top 5 Parenting with Presence Secrets!!
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about what would be her top 10 marriage tips she would have for someone just getting married and the wisdom was… mind-blowing and a little awe-inspiring.
Which got me thinking… if I had to tell my younger self My Top 5 Parenting Secrets what would they be??
And here they are:
#1- When you parent with presence, It’s totally okay not to know all the answers. Just admit it and own it.
In the parenting community it can be a dog eat dog world out there.
Especially, in the peaceful, respectful and gentle parenting community.
It seems like every which way you turn there is an answer on how you are supposed to do things.
But here’s the deal we all come to the parenting table with different experiences, habits, attachment styles and the whole shabang!!
And really, we are just doing the best that we can.
Parenting really is about faking it until you making it.
Or gaining the knowledge that works for you and your kiddos to create the greatest bond and connection.
#2- As you parent with presence it means that your child will feel more connected with you if you listen to the little things
I want you to think back to the last time your child was trying to tell you something.
Do you really remember what it was about??
Or were you only half listening??
Sometimes, it can be easy to half listen to our kiddos when we are cooking, or cleaning, feeding the baby, helping another child with homework that we aren’t giving our full undivided attention to what our littles are telling us.
But here’s the thing if you don’t take time to listen to the little things then it’s very likely that we won’t build the necessary bond and connection needed that our kiddos will tell us the big things down the road.
So, the best advice is listen to the little things.
#3- It is okay to get it wrong, admit your mistake and apologize to your child
I remember sitting in church with my 2 yr old on my lap.
We were in our Women’s meeting and we were talking about parenting.
A seasoned momma of 7 spoke up and her words are ones that I remember to this day.
“I mess up as a mom. I have learned to own it, embrace that I am human and allow my child to see that I am imperfect. When I make a mistake, I allow my child to know that I did make a mistake. I take ownership, responsibility and apologize. If I want my own child to own up to when they are wrong I have to be the one to set the right example.”
The words blew me away.
And to this very day when I make a mistake, I try really hard to apologize to my kiddos and let them know that mommy messed up and I am going to try harder.
#4- Loving your child, Validating Them, and Treating them with respect helps them to listen
I have several family members who speak of raising children like learning to train a horse.
You have to break their spirit and will so that they will listen.
And I super DISAGREE with that!!
I don’t think making a child feel worse about themselves is going to make them feel better.
It’s not going to motivate them to try their best or be their best selves.
When you break a child’s spirit or will all you are doing is taking away their voice and teaching that they don’t matter.
So, I became a trail blazer in my family.
I treated my children like I did to those I taught in class.
I treated them with respect, kindness and encouragement.
And I found that my kiddos listened more and quicker when they felt connected, loved and respected!!
#5- Your child will be grateful when you give them grace and be more willing to give you grace when you make a mistake
It can be hard when your child has messed up to immediately go into discipline and correction mode.
But I have found that when I learn the thinking behind my child’s choice that it usually isn’t for the reasoning that I automatically assumed.
Sometimes, they have the purest intentions and it is way more empowering to give your child grace and understanding.
Now, it’s your turn!! What is your top parenting secret that you would include with this list?? Let me know in the comments below <3