Tired of those dating app conversations going absolutely nowhere?? Feeling like you are wasting a ton of time trying to find the right guy?? Well here’s how to know if a guy’s the real deal no matter what dating app you are on.
I started this year with the intention, not to date.
And it seemed as soon as I put that energy into the universe that all those ghosts and a ton of guys came popping up out of nowhere.
It’s true when they say that when you stop looking for love that love will come knocking at your door.
And to be honest, I got caught up in the whole wanting to be exclusive thing.
But, a month and a half into the New Year I am back to being single and learning the same lessons I did a year ago when it comes to dating apps and guys in general.
I feel like I need to insert a face palm here.
Dang it!! It is never fun when you have to learn the same lessons again and again cause you didn’t figure it out the first time. BLAH!!!
So let’s the scene and you can tell me if this has happened to you before…
You’re scrolling through your favourite dating app. Reading his bio and swipe up. Swipe right. Swipe. Whatever way that silly app makes it known that you’re interested.
You’re talking to a bunch of guys playing it cool.
And then you start vibing with one guy and you slowly let the other conversations die off…
Only to find out that this guy ghosts you just days later…. Insert a big WTH!! here.
It happened to me recently…
He told me he liked me.
We dated for a month.
And then he just disappeared into oblivion….
Poof!! Gone!! Like Casper!!
So I realized that I may not have realized the telling flags that were right in front of my face!!
So let’s talk about ‘em
First off, I was first questioning whether or not I was wrong to make it known right off the bat that I wanted a relationship and how to know if a guy’s the real deal
After listening to a dating call with Matthew Hussey I learned:
It’s not wrong to ask and want to know someone’s intentions. But you can go about it in a way classier way than just dropping a ticking time bomb on him at the very beginning.
Matthew Hussey shared the following information that is SO worth it to write down and keep in your back pocket.
We can measure a guy’s intentions in smaller moments.
It’s time to get it!! Here’s how to know if a Guy’s the Real Deal
To tell if a guy is looking for a serious relationship he will ask you sincere questions.
He will look for someone who has the same values, goals, dreams and aspirations as he does.
So, look for a guy who is asking you questions about who you are, what you are looking for in the future, and is actually being a genuine person.
He won’t live on the app with you
When a guy has a sincere interest in pursuing you he will be willing to take the conversation off the app.
He will ask for your phone number so that you guys can text on there.
This then should lead up to a phone call or video date…
And then ultimately, an in-person date and meet up.
A guy who is looking for something serious is going to pour more into the relationship so there is a meaningful connection through your communication and conversations.
Some guys move at a slower pace than we as girls want.
I totally get it. Been there done that.
So the one thing that Matthew suggested is if he hasn’t done this then you can be the bold one and ask him to meet you for coffee in the middle of the day.
It is a super low pressure time to get together and chat without feeling the need to be committed for more than 30 minutes if the date doesn’t go well or you two don’t hit it off in person.
Being a serial dater and LDR lover I have found that if you hit it off on the phone you are more than likely to hit it off in person.
If something feels off or you feel annoyed by that person on the phone then you are going to also feel like that in person.
A guy will match your level of investment!!
Guys who are just wanting a hook up or booty call are going to offer for you to go to their house late at night, have a drink together so you both are more loose so that you can have sex!!
You should never ever ever ever meet up with a guy at his house that you have never met before!! Don’t do it!! And especially don’t do it late at night!!
If a guy isn’t willing to match your level of investment pull back and continue your search.
Matthew Hussey suggests, Lowering your expectations at the beginning when you first start talking to someone
His advice is gold. He explains it this way
View a dating app like going for business contacts. If someone is not interested in you say cool and move on.
But DON’T burn bridges.
If someone isn’t trying their best or hardest then just match where they are at. Someone who isn’t ready now might be ready in three months, or six.
People are constantly evolving and changing so leave room and space for someone who is trying.
Just, don’t freak out when they move on down the road.
Because you just need to keep moving on down the road.
Matthew shared, that if a business contact isn’t giving him the time of day he doesn’t get hung up on it he goes to find another business contact to make a connection with.
We need to embrace and treat our dating relationships at the beginning in the same way.
Even if it is going well in the beginning, don’t stop making contacts !!
Keep networking because you never know!!
And when someone is actually showing progress and eventually investing spend the time getting to know them better but don’t cut off others until you become exclusive.
This was such helpful advice that I really learned a lot from this week.
So let me know in the comments below if you have other tips and suggestions on how to know if a guy’s the real deal!!
Have you been a ghost?? Or have you been ghosted?? Let us know in the comments below <3
Ps. If you like our dating advice check out some more at our Dating and Relationship Advice.
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