Are you an empath?? Do you find yourself wondering if boundaries are love?? Or are boundaries unkind?! Well keep reading to know why boundaries ARE love!!
Yah you!! Over there!! I want you to stop!!
Read that again!! Boundaries are love!!
I want to tell you a story…
I grew up in a “loving” home but I struggled with ever saying no to my family.
My no was never taken as a no and I ended up always doing things EVEN if I didn’t want to do them.
It got to the point where I didn’t want to let anyone down… friends, family, acquaintances, fellow Christians at worship that I eventually became to resent a lot of people.
I was boiling inside not about having to help them but spreading myself too thin.
Getting myself in situations I didn’t want to be a part of because I was scared to say no.
About a month ago I had a text pop up on my phone… I was already having a bad day and striving to do the very best that I could.
And here was this text criticizing how I was handling something personal.
I normally would just let it slide and say okay… try to fix it and do what the other person wanted…
But I exploded. Why can’t you ever just accept me for me?!! Why can’t you just support me!? Why isn’t my best ever just good enough!!
And the response was very catty in return. “Get a grip!!”
I just couldn’t and so I blocked the number on my phone.
I have thought about this text conversation back and forth every day since it happened.
So I went to the library and got out 15 books. All on boundaries, anger, relationships, influencing others, winning friends… and on and on and on…
I jumped into a book about anger.
And it said something that I finally had to accept and own.
Anger is not something bad.
Anger is your body’s way of telling you that someone or something has crossed your boundaries that you don’t feel comfortable with.
It’s how one reacts to the anger that is what can make the emotion of anger dangerous.
But the emotion of feeling it… nope that isn’t a bad thing at all.
I sat with that thought for a few days.
Saying no and starting to stand up for what I needed to have a healthy relationship with someone who wasn’t respectful of my boundaries was SO so SO freeing.
Be warned that when you start to create healthy boundaries others are going to be mad because there is a fence there that they can no longer just walk across, but what I do know is that when you create a boundary you are showing that person love…
But more importantly you are showing yourself love. It is empowering and freeing to start to love yourself.
So go on I give you permission today to love yourself and set boundaries that allow you to feel free, even if it upsets the other person.