Nudes and sexting has taken the online dating world by storm… it seems innocent enough doesn’t it… You totally trust him… BUT here are 10 things to consider before sending nudes
I dived back into the dating scene at the beginning of the pandemic.
And for ways, I was totally grateful for it!!
There were a TON of guys on there because lets face it the whole world was on pause.
I messaged a little bit with a cute baseball player who said I was a little firecracker and I still own that title to this day!!
But what I absolutely didn’t love was the photos that showed up on my phone totally unwarranted!!
Randomly in the middle of an innocent conversation, a nude photo or a dick pic would show up on my phone.
The first time it happened I was at first shocked then really really really MAD!!!!
I didn’t ask for that and I immediately blocked the dude…
Honestly, what the heck!!
I am looking for my best friend and partner in crime… but not that kind of partner in crime gross!!!
But, I think the saddest thing about this is that this isn’t an uncommon occurrence for those who have entered the online dating world… and it’s even worse in the online dating realm for teens but that is a post for another day.
Now, you might be thinking that I am overreacting. It’s totally innocent you think… nothing is going to come of it but here’s the deal:
But, here are the stats behind nudes:
Forbes shared that when co-vid started nudes and sexting increased in the digital world by 384%
Those numbers are staggering enough!!
However, we are going to make it hit a little closer to home!!
A study shared by the Psychiatric Times shares that one study in 2016, that had 58045 participants shared that:
21% sent sexually explicit text messages including photos
28% received sexually explicit text messages including photos
22.9% shared or forwarded that sext without permission of the original sender.
That was back before Co-Vid, if those stats aren’t enough of a wake up call let’s get down and dirty in talking about what really happens when you send a nude
Number One: Sexts never go away
Yup, you can totally think that it might stay between you and whoever you sent it to.
But, that normally isn’t the case.
While the person that you sent it to may seem totally trustworthy the deal that comes with that is that if you are using an app it can be stored on their data system.
If it isn’t stored in their data system it can very likely be stored on your phone’s own data system.
Oh, you’ve got iCloud turned off??
Well, if you are using Whatsapp for example when you take a pic it sends it to the other person which yah can be deleted from the chat history on your end but did you know it also embeds a photo into your phone’s history?!
Be careful what you take photos of and where they come from because they truly never go away.
Number Two: There is an actual risk for blackmail, cyberbullying, and revenge
Did you know that nudes and sexting are now being used in sources of blackmail, cyberbullying and revenge at such an alarming rate that countries now have laws surrounding what happens when someone’s nude photo goes viral?!
It’s terrifying to say the least. But, just to bring the awareness that is needed let’s talk about the law that Canada has adopted because of the issues that are happening around this.
And here is why…
“These private images or videos are of an intimate nature. Therefore, the subject of the intimate image holds a reasonable expectation of privacy on its intimate picture and/or video at the time of its creation. And that expectation extends in the future. The expectation that someone would not distribute or share the intimate image or video to others. ” (In Your Defence)
OKay, but I fully trust him!! I know he for sure isn’t going to to send those photos to anyone else!!
Well, girly I have news for you.
Number Three: Phones aren’t as safe as we think
Who proceeds to try to blackmail and manipulate her with photos and videos she only ever sent to her boyfriend!!
Thank goodness this girl had the guts to stand up for herself and an amazing support system
But, let’s be honest not everyone is lucky enough to be backed by this support. Or have the courage and bravery to not be embarrassed by sending out those nudes and texts…
Okay and now onward we go….
Number Four: Sexting Regret
There are numerous texts on the web that ask:
how can I get my nude photo back.
I regret sending a nude photo, what should I do??
The reality is sometimes when we shoot off that photo in the heat of the moment we forget to think about the consequences of our actions or whose malicious hands our photos will land in.
The reality is sad but sobering.
Once a picture is taken we never know where it is going to land, get saved or shared that can haunt us for years to come.
I know you are probably thinking… okay but this is teens so what… but here’s the cold hard truth
Number Five: Your reputation matters
What we share on social media can even be found too racy and hold us back from furthering ourselves or our careers in the future.
I am a huge advocate of Steve Harvey and the amazing real life advice and dating tips he shares with women.
You think those pics are sexy but do you honestly, want to know what men think??
Check out some hard harsh truth of what men think when they receive pictures that are on the verge of too sexy…. (and ladies these aren’t even nudes)
Yup, that guy probably isn’t telling you that your pictures are too much but he is definitely going to use you and have fun with you…
Lets be honest, and tell it like it is.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free…
Oh, and did you hear that those types of photos floating around the internet can cost you jobs leads….
Yikes!! It is one thing to lose out on a dating potential…
but a career lead… thats a whole different ball game
Are you really willing to take the risk??
Number Six: Your mental and Emotional Health won’t and can’t handle it
There are studies that are being done in teens ( but let’s face it we are just big kids) that shows that sexting is linked to depression, psychological distress and suicide.
That is pretty sad.
But somewhere in our messed up world we still are blaming the victims for taking the photo rather than holding accountable those who leaked the photo.
There no more is grace given when mistakes are made. It’s plastered all over the internet.
Just because the #MeToo movement became a thing a couple of years ago doesn’t actually mean that society has changed its views on it.
In sharing my story, I have been ostracized more than if I had kept quiet about it.
My sexual abuse story led me to be shunned rather than supported.
And there also has been articles written that state those who stand behind and share their #MeToo story are less likely to advance in their careers or be kept from obtaining a job if their higher up counterparts know their story.
The reasoning behind it?? Well, that woman will cause too much drama in the company…
Our society still blames the victim.
So, is your voice strong enough to handle the criticism if your photo is leaked??
Number Seven: Are you sure he doesn’t have a big mouth??
A dating potential, recently shared with me how there was a girl he dated in his past who didn’t make the cut because of the photos she sent him.
They weren’t just nudes of her.
But her and her best friend fully nude together in the shower doing sexual things….
He made a joke about it how he bragged about it to his friends and colleagues in his male dominant workplace.
I was shocked to hear that he has not only just shared that tidbit of information about his ex with me but rather that he shared it in the “locker room” at work.
So, I called him out on it.
His response made me shake my head.
I didn’t share the photos of her. I just told them about it.
Kay cool. But if she ever comes around just think of how mortifying it will be for her.
Well maybe she doesn’t care. But I am embarrassed enough for both her and I.
What you send doesn’t stay private.
Number Eight: That potential you super like may not be digging your nudes
Well, I am sorry to say but this kind of goes back to the sexy pics discussion with Steve Harvey.
Guys won’t tell you that they don’t like it and will use you to have fun…
but don’t expect them to take you home to meet Mom!!
When you don’t keep your body as a sacred and private thing guys treat you the way you treat yourself…
kind of like a joke.
I am sorry to be harsh in this. But I have seen the reality.
And have heard way too many times about girls who were just used for a sexual encounter because they didn’t value themselves.
Same thing applies.
You want to be respected by men.
Well, respect yourself.
You don’t think this is a thing. Come into a High School Staff Room and listen to the male teachers complain about when warm weather comes and having to teach to the ceiling cause girls’ shirts and shorts are way too short and they don’t know where to even look.
They look up.
They teach down.
They don’t want to be mistaken for a perv.
Yup, we as women say I can wear whatever I want.
And yah, I guess you can.
But, you can’t force a man to respect you if you don’t have standards and values.
Number Nine: With where our society is headed it can be considered sexual harassment or assault
I think it will come to a time in our society where these unwarranted sexts and “dick pics” will start to be held accountable by the courts.
If a man is continually exposing himself unwarranted/ or a woman because we aren’t gender biased I fully expect that this will become part of charges that can be upheld in the court of law.
It will be hard to prove but just like indecent exposure is a thing in real time I think it will become one in the digital world as well.
So don’t take the risk or chance it is as easy as that.
Number Ten: Sexual Exploitation is a thing
There are some sick sick people out there.
That prey on the innocent.
Porn Hub is a major distributer and supporter to a world that revolves around sexual assault and sexual exploitation of both men, women and children.
Now, you may think I am going to far but I don’t think I am when I say you just can’t trust anyone with your body and pictures of it.
Whose to say well I trust him. He wouldn’t do that. If anything I hope this article has proven is that while you may trust your boyfriend, or significant other there are still evil lurkers out there that don’t.
I don’t want you to be the victim of sexual exploitation because you made the mistake once of sending a nude photo.
Please, before you send me hate mail saying I’m old fashioned I just want you to consider my points with this question:
If I start seeing myself as a prize to be won, rather than someone broken, unlovable and unworthy would I still send those photos??
Please, consider this Before Sending Nudes to whomever, what I think of you
You girl are worth more than all the diamonds, pearls and rubies in the world.
Treat yourself as such and teach the world that you are a prize to be won because girl you deserve it.